Heading Toward October

They all are heading toward October
buses   planes   and cruise ships even
going to see the October of
New Hampshire and Vermont

going to see the scarlet and the
deepest color of orange and
my favorite transparent yellow
glowing in the setting sun

going to see the bed and breakfasts
the flowing expanse of folding hills
and returning hopefully to home
just before November comes

with naked trunks and twisted limbs
when all the deepest forest is revealed

Fall Tree Photo Jere Kearns © 2013

© 2014 Frank Kearns

Circling Venice

A shameless plug for my collection, available on Amazon.com. The story of my migration to California, and the story of how Carol and I came to be together. It’s really inexpensive!!! Feel free to purchase, write a review, etc etc.

Circling Venice

Here is a teaser:

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we were comets hurtling
in great eccentric orbits
so close in Veniceyears before
flying fast at periapsis
then speeding off again up Highway 101
distance measured by the plains of Camarillo
speed measured by the beat of the Cumbia
the trumpets blaring in sweaty Oxnard bars
finally the endless outer reaches
tiny houses by the farm fields of Ventura
searching through Kepler’s laws
waiting for gravity or stubbornness
or orbital momentum
to draw us back again
you count from 1975
I count from an airplane ride
on the way to San Francisco
window seat                       the clouds
bright behind your hair
you count from a chapel in Huntington Park
I count from holding hands again
tighter                            like we meant it
stopping each other in mid flight

in the sunshine of the Embarcadero

Learning to Fly

Once, in a dusty attic in my grandmother’s house, I saw the remnants of the model airplanes my father had made as a child. Long as a grown man’s arm, they were made of tiny sticks, lacy and delicate, covered with the thinnest of tissue paper. I could imagine them floating in an open field, like a butterfly, carried on cushions of air.
The models that we made were very different. Their construction was crude, about the size of a serving plate, made of light slabs of balsa wood for wings, body, tail and rudder. At the heart of these models were tiny gas motors which, even with an attached fuel tank, were about the size of a one quarter measuring cup. Once started, the motors screamed like a thousand angry bumble bees. Our ears buzzed, fumes flowed in the blast of air and coated the hands of the boy holding back the plane, while the “pilot” raced to where the control handle lay in the grass.
These models were called “control line” models. Two thin wires ran from one wing of the plane to a handle maybe fifty feet away. The “pilot” held this handle at the center of a circle, and turned in place as the plane flew round and round, restrained by the two wires. Dizziness was always a danger, as was wandering away from the starting place as we turned. If the pilot wandered, the circular flight path could move to where there the edge of the house or the laundry post out in the field would cause a mid-air disaster.
The motors were strong relative to the size and weight that the plane, so the models didn’t so much fly as trail desperately after the propeller as it clawed its way through the air. These models flew fast, so our learning process was about what you would expect. The plane would take off; our attempts at control would cause a few quick up and down oscillations and then finally a dive into the grass.
In spite of our complete lack of mastery of these simple models, we began to build a larger more sophisticated version. This was a completely different project. The wingspan was the width of a kitchen table, and the construction was more like a real airplane, with ribs and bulkheads forming a skeleton which was covered by balsa sheeting. The motor was larger, and surgical tubing ran back from the motor to a separate aluminum tank, the size of a small coffee cup, nestled in the middle of the fuselage. This model took us about a month to build and paint, much longer than the simple slab models we had been flying.
The big day finally came. We had heaver control wires to handle the additional power and weight, and they were longer too. Since we were using up a lot more of the back field and there was less clearance to the various obstacles, we arranged a 4 foot diameter circle of red bricks around the pilot pivot point, so that if we started to wander as we turned round and round, the bricks would warn us and keep us in the right spot.
After a couple of spins of the prop, the motor came to life. Rather than the frantic high pitched scream of the smaller motors, this one had a more satisfactory tone, like a chain saw in full song. My brother held the tail of the model, I ran to the center of the circle, picked up the control handle, pulled the slack out of the control lines, and gave him a quick nod to release the plane.
The plane was still fast, but not as fast and frantic as the smaller models. I actually felt like I had some control, and instead of crashing after a couple of turns I was able to keep it airborne turn after turn. Finally we were really flying!
The crash was so sudden it seemed the world stopped. One instant there was the plane circling fifteen feet off the ground, its red stripe along the side clear in my memory. The next instant all sound was gone, the lines were slack, and pieces of balsa, fragments of fuselage and wing and tail, were sailing through the air. I had somehow wandered out of my circle of brick, and drifted over so that the plane had collided squarely with the six inch thick twenty foot high cloths line post. And what I remember most clearly of all was the aluminum fuel tank, free of the fuselage, gleaming in the sun, as it performed a slow cartwheel, painting a filmy arc of fuel in the clear air as it turned.
We never did much flying after that.

©Frank Kearns 2014

Mule Skinner

After five days at the fairgrounds
in Bishop California
finishing third and fourth
in a couple of calf roping events
and chatting with a small but steady stream
of strangers who strolled the rows of stalls
after days of bits of apples and carrots
for children to feed to his mule Sunflower
Henry was more than happy to lift
the heavy tongue of his dust streaked trailer
walk Sunflower up the metal ramp
turn north onto highway 395
and as the mountains began to tinge red
he looked to a summer of days in the saddle
and felt the knots in the back of his neck
two days drive to Bozeman Montana

Yearlings


we were running in the evening air

the top of the hill our finish line
both of us panting at the end
she so near to me I tingled
as a mist of breath caressed my cheek
this morning boys jog in the park
a tall girl swings on a low tree branch
yearlings        faces not yet marked
they feel the sunlight on their face
dampness of the still-wet grass
later we were together        close
in the deepest corner of the empty barn
the scents of hair and skin and earth
all the many colors
                        of the end

                                    and the beginning



Wet Bulb Thermometer

Usually it’s a dry heat here

but the last week brought humidity
and air conditioners grind on overtime
until the midnight bedroom windows
offer cooling currents of relief
side by side         the sheet pulled half way up
we search for pleasing weather words
temperature is nice       barometer too clinical
dew point has a sensuous ring
now the wet bulb thermometer
sounds a little twisted for our taste
but it offers numerical measurement
of how a casual arm would feel
laid across the arch of waist
and how a finger will glide on flesh
in a night when skin feels perfect touching skin
and gentle movements quickly leave behind
the state of the wet bulb thermometer



©Frank Kearns 2014

Words for Rain

            


Deep in a hot southwestern night
I’m haunted by the memories
that will perhaps leave peacefully
if I can give a name to each
of a thousand images of rain

a name for the driving lashing rain
that splattered on the windshield glass
in ever-changing circles and rivulets
and dodged the syncopated wipers
for one hundred turnpike miles

a name for a mist in early summer
that thickened on the canopy of pine
till droplets fell to darken and dapple
the paths which led around the pond
to the place we called Perch Cove

rain as verb    to lavish or bestow
great buckets of rain     so sudden
they absolve the layers of festering dust
and on a damp mid-summer night
break loose the clots of memory

and what name will finally satisfy
the weeks of late September rain
cold against your upstairs window
disquieting the inner cracks
threatening to freeze and split the soul


 © 2014 Frank Kearns

Calculating Love

I was working with a crew high on a hill overlooking the rolling vistas of Simi Valley when my cell phone rang. It was Dan, an old friend that I hadn’t talked to for 5 years. He called to tell me Roger Arrington had died. Behind me generators hummed. Our crew had long range cameras mounted on the lift gate of a truck: we were tracking moving vehicles along a highway miles off in the haze, field-testing the way the computers recalculated the positions of cars as their outlines passed from bright sunlight into deep shade As I talked to Dan over the wind and the noise, I couldn’t help thinking that this was just the kind of thing Roger would have loved.
 
Roger had been my mentor when I first started working at Hughes Aircraft Company. He was about my height and a bit younger than me, and he was the smartest person I had ever met. We worked with cameras and lasers and telescopes, and Roger knew all the theory of all of that, and all the practical details too. But he also knew all there was to know about aircraft flight, and shipboard radar, and a thousand other things. We would play a game: pick a subject – and Roger could tell us the basic equations, the primary mathematical laws that governed that particular topic.

For years, every Friday lunchtime Roger held what the intellectuals would call a salon. He and a bunch of us would go to a Mexican restaurant on. It was invitation only, and if you were invited it meant that you had been judged to be one who truly appreciated science and engineering in its many dimensions. We stirred rice into cheap enchilada sauce around a large table in the dim light, and discussed Roger’s latest “thought experiment.” These thought experiments were concepts where all the details were explored: was the concept feasible, what were the engineering challenges, how would the project be built.

They would go on for weeks. But after awhile, most of them were set aside and replaced with the next challenge. But Roger also had challenges of a different sort. Although he couldn’t really comprehend it, he was in love. He was in love with Donna, a woman that we all thought was about the nicest lady in the building. She liked him a lot. They were in their thirties, and it was marrying time. But for Roger everything was a thought experiment, and he couldn’t tie down all the logic involved in this situation. How does one know for sure? And if things don’t work out, should he protect – how would he protect his modest assets.

The last Friday lunch that I remember – we were eating the same enchiladas, mixing the same rice, trying to help Roger understand that love was something he was never going to be able to figure out. The leap of faith eluded him; he was confused and defeated. And after that, none of us were really interested in going out for Mexican food on Friday afternoon.
 
Up on the hill, looking out over Simi Valley, I had a hard time hearing Dan over the wind. He was telling me that Roger had died of a degenerative brain disorder. As we talked, a bit of dark humor that drifted uninvited into my mind– he had died from an overworked brain. I quickly filed that thought away as completely inappropriate.

On the phone, I heard Dan pause.
“You know,” he said, “I just thought of something that I am almost ashamed to say.”
I smiled to myself – and told him “I know exactly what it is.”

            © 2014 Frank Kearns


Honda 250

Raggedy little motorcycle
black and pitted chrome
bits of dirt and oil

tattered seat and
cables dangling just short
of catastrophe

good enough to putter
across Venice Boulevard
and over the canals

sorry enough to droop
it’s headlight in disgrace
at the sight of the big BMW

parked proudly on the grass
in front of your apartment
one warm Saturday afternoon

foolish enough to dump me
spinning on the tarmac
to the laughter of all the girls

just good enough to be
enshrined in our mythology
the golden coach

that carried us together
at the start of our
love story

© Frank Kearns 2014